something had inspired me to write..

me + medical

my dream to become a doctor started back then when i am at school.. when ever new teacher came into the class, we are obligate to tell our name and our dream job..

what do you want to become when you grow up??

-this is a standard question ask by teacher to a childish kid who know nothing about real life all about..-

in my head, i always thought (back then) to give the simplest answer back.. the safest so that the 'new' teacher wont ask me anything back like..
why??

so my answer will always be
- a doctor-
in such a young age, with no knowledge bout medical life, i always knew i want to become a doctor..but if you ask me why back then, i might not be able to give you the reason..

when spm ended, matrix ended, and miraculously, i got a distinction result, i receive a power to choose..
what do i want to do??
a good result mean that i can do what ever i want.. right..
perhaps..
so, i with all my pride click medical school as my choice..
everything like so easy for me.. i had the easy pathway..

not like others..
they have to struggle.. but i like to listen how they struggle since i struggle less..
when things are not beautifully laid out in front of you, you have to work harder.. better.. more..
and that is the beauty in it..
the challenge you face in order to succeed
that what make you strong.. that what make you special..
i was given a gift back then
i thank god for it.. alhamdulillah
with a mere chance i got what i want..

so, right now, as i am facing the most vital exam in my medical years.. i come across this question again..
why do i want to become a doctor???
can i?? will i be a good doctor with a few medical knowledge i had?
i dont know..
i dont think that i will ever know the answer..
i am not yet there..
i wish i am..
but..can i?

hmm, a question with no definitive answer..
tricky!!

i guess i am not that smart like other people.. not that rajin too..
the things i have to demolished to become a new me